Wednesday, 12 September 2012

Lame Ass Friends: Case Study 1

Some friends are so lame ass. It drives me nuts.

Like my friend of 5 years who recently decided to declare his love for me after I moved out of his apartment. He used the excuse of me moving out to declare it. He said he'd missed me (after two weeks of me leaving) and this had led to the realisation that he had deeper feelings.

No, it hadn't. We both knew these feelings had been there all along, from way back, but I had had a long-term boyfriend and I hadn't felt the same. I assumed there was a tacit understanding and I was careful never to give him any leads to cling to. I talked about my flings and forays openly and stressed our friendship wherever possible. I was even deliberately know, burping, farting...warts and all. No shame. You'd have thought after 5 years he'd have just let go of the idea and settled into the status quo.

I sound a bit harsh here I realise (you're probably thinking: 'ungrateful biatch, he even liked you when you belched in front of him, what is True Love if not that?!'), but I have been on the other side of the coin. There was a guy - there is a guy - a good friend and I always harboured a secret crush. I've known the guy now for ten years and in that time I worked out that it was never going to happen. I tested the water subtly, I looked for signs and I didn't delude myself. We have a very good friendship and I wasn't about to ruin that. The idea has since long been let go of and those feelings have evaporated. It wasn't meant to be.

What if I had confessed my love?

It wouldn't have gone down well. I knew this, so I never did. End of story.

My other friend, let's call him David, didn't read the signs very carefully...

But that's makes life a little awkward but it's flattering and it's okay, it should have been okay...

But it isn't okay, not for David. Now he's hurt, insulted, rejected. He's taken it as a personal insult. So he initially tries to sell me the idea - like what he has to offer is a marketable product and I might still buy into the idea.

Honey, you're not chocolate. It doesn't work like that. I can't just flip a switch. I can't be persuaded to manufacture up these feelings if they don't exist. You need to accept this. It really isn't personal, please, you're hurting yourself unnecessarily over an unwavering fact.

And then he's gone. He cuts me off. I'm not even allowed to contact him directly. I have to get in touch via one of his friends - and only if it is an emergency.

'I have to do what's best for me...' is his excuse.


One minute I thought I had a good friend...and then...well it was all a lie I guess. And it sucks. 

(Oh and I'm not the first close girl friend that he's done this to. You'd have thought he'd have learnt his lesson too as he was full of regret about it a year down the line...)

The whole thing is out of my hands. There isn't anything I can do about it.

Friend down.



It wouldn't be so bad if there weren't other lame ass friends acting up elsewhere...

Until next time.

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