Kinky Tikki: Sex Machine

Here, a gift: some porn. 

iris getting rocked on the sybian powered by YouPorn

 That, my friends, is a sybian in action. Apart from the magic wand and the rabbit (thanks Sex And The City), it’s probably the world’s most famous vibrator. I say vibrator because it vibrates, but really I suppose it’s more like a fucking machine.  It was designed by a guy who did some research into how women come best, and surprise surprise, found that the ol’ in-out that does it for guys often doesn’t get us girls to heaven in the same way. 

It’s basically about round-and-round g-spot action coupled with lots of clitoral stimulation, apparently. These things cost a hefty sum, so they’re rare to find outside of porn, but I happen to have been lucky enough to come by one (or a guy that has one), and being still alive to tell the tale, I thought I’d share it with you.

The guy is a lovely black American from the Navy, with some of the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen, and the most laid-back, solid nature of anyone I’ve met on the kink scene. We’d met once before, but when I turned up at his house I was in a foul mood for various reasons, so initially he just fed me amaretto and we chatted in front of endless episodes of The Walking Dead. 7 hours of this, plus coconut vodka and youtube videos, later, I finally had the guts and inclination to try it.

First, we discussed attachments. There were a few terrifying, 3 inch wide, 9 inch long monstrosities that I rejected immediately, eventually plumping for a small one with a ridged ball on it, for the g-spot stimulation. He handed me some lube and brought me a bottle of water ('Will I need this?' I asked. 'It depends how long you ride for.' He said. I thought he was being silly. Little did I know…) 

He showed me the controls and offered to leave the room, but I opted to have him control it, to add to the experience. There was no sexy vibe between us, so I just took off my pants under my skirt, lubed up and hopped on. It felt very weird, and quite tight/a teeny bit painful because I wasn’t aroused at all yet. 

And so he started it up.

The vibrations are very strong – at the lower levels it feels like a deep purr, and at higher levels you could imagine you’re sitting on top of a piece of industrial machinery. Which I suppose you are. And it’s bloody loud. At first, it all felt a bit funny. My sexuality is very mental and connective, so it felt alienating, mechanical – which again, it was. It felt good but I kept analysing it: 

'Ah, in this position, I get more clitoral stimulation, but in this position, more g-spot…but I don’t seem to be getting anywhere close to orgasm. Is this too intense? Should I change position? What if I fantasise a bit?' 

Again, this is very me; thwarting my own sexual pleasure by over-analysing or getting stuck in my own head is one of my least favourite traits, though I don’t think I’m alone in this. It went on for a long time. I decided it was all too clinical, so I took off my clothes. We stopped and added a little wedge that pushed the front up against my clit more, and added towels under my knees. By this stage sweat was dripping from my elbows, and I did need to drink quite a bit of water – it’s surprisingly physical.

All the while, sybian guy was calm, a smile on his face, reclining next to me on the sofa, playing with the controls, varying the intensity and the combination of sensations, never making me think that he was trying to steam towards the end point. I finally sat up, where the internal feelings were most intense, and just closed my eyes and relaxed. Didn’t think, didn’t try not to think, just went with it. And all those good-but-too-analysable sensations joined into one, and I started to get somewhere. 

I forgot myself, and started to make noises. Not those little communicative noises of encouragement (girls, maybe you know what I mean), but real involuntary noises. He didn’t rush it though. He teased me, took me to the edge a few times, thwarted me by turning it down just when I thought I was about to go over the top. Which made it better, of course, but left me cursing and swearing at him. 

Eventually, almost with a sense of disbelief, I came. It was a very strong orgasm, and it went on for a long time. It was great, but not the best ever. It lacked the…finesse? Depth? To make it into the top ten. But it was very good. And suddenly, I came down, and I realised again that I was sitting on a machine, and it all felt a bit solitary, so I went to clean myself up a bit and then threw myself into SG’s lap for a cuddle and to talk the experience over and watch some more youtube videos. 

When I got up, there was some blood there, which I guess was because of how suddenly I had sat down on it, and the intensity and unusual motion when I am (this feels uncomfortable to say, somehow) quite tight. SG had cleared it all up by the time I came back from the bathroom though, and I couldn’t find any damage, so we just glossed it over and carried on with the night.

So generally, it was very interesting, and it did help me learn quite a lot about myself. SG said that the women that don’t get on well with the sybian often have trouble because of over-analysing and being unable to let go. I think we could all stand to understand female orgasm a bit better. The next day the muscles in my bum and thighs were so sore it was painful sitting down, though. I worked really hard for that orgasm. Still, I think I’d do it again. Partly because, at the end, SG informed me that I’d only been to half speed so far…