Tuesday, 18 December 2012

So...I was saying about Self-Respect...

...and more so self-discipline...

It isn't easy to put the theory into practise! I have the right mentality but never underestimate LUST (or I prefer the term: DESIRE).* 

This is why it was decreed a cardinal sin...it is a powerful force to be reckoned with.

So just to give you a little update on my ongoing love soap opera...

As you know, I called things off with Mr Sporty. I went to Madrid and I didn't throw myself into the arms of my Spanish friend, namely because I didn't think it was a good idea nor did I want to, but I could have been selfish and reckless and followed the manta:

'the best way to get over someone is to get under some one.'

But I'm beyond this way of thinking these days and I don't necessarily agree with it. I just slowly accepted that I was back to being Miss Solo again. It isn't the end of the world.

Then came the night at the creperia when I had my first slip up. I embraced Mr Sporty to say goodbye, after a group of us had gone there to watch some live music, and there was some awkward Spanish-style-two-kisses-on-the-cheek malarky and then I wandered down the hill drunk lamenting to the universe, arms dramatically held aloft and doing what I often do when drunk and impetuous (ah who gives a f&ck!)....texting.

'You know it takes some effort to stop myself from wanting you sometimes...'

Followed by

'And I'll regret sending that message in ten minutes...'

Eek! Not ideal behaviour whatsoever. I then crawled into bed and promptly passed out.

I woke up to his reply in the morning:

'Had to draw back earlier too...'

Okay...a little stroke to the ego and not so bad. I didn't beat myself up and I just left it. I'm only human, I'm allowed some hiccups.

But then the Christmas party came on Friday... (to be continued)

* Lust / Desire plays a big role in this story and requires further analysis at some point.

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